I had been waiting for it. I am so glad I had somewhat prepared myself. After 4 weeks he had a drink. We had an argument after I approached him about his emotional abuse. I have felt like he has been replacing the alcohol with anger. Of course, this made him angry. He left and came back drunk. He declared that he had one beer. I searched the dumpster and found an empty 12 pack sitting right on top. The next morning he told me that he just said he was drunk to make me angry, I know better, I could tell.
The next morning, I found myself at church. I talked to The Bishop. I told him how I was feeling and how I was suffering. He is going to help me get into LDS Family Services for counseling. I feel this will benefit me in several ways. I have so many feelings that I need to sort through. I don't even know which way is right and which way is left. I need to talk all of this out and figure out what to do from here.
The Bishop also came by our apartment to see my husband. My husband says that the Bishop offered him help if he needed it through LDS Family Services. My husband says he will not be accepting it.
I am really hurting right now. I still love and care for my husband but I am not sure that I can say I am in love with him anymore. The pain and anger have just completely taken over that love. I hate how one person's stupid decisions can affect everyone! I hate that I have to deal with this nightmare! I only wish it would end one way or another.
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